When you’re really angry with someone in your team, it’s hard to hold a rational conversation with them. It’s best to avoid a conversation at all until you’ve calmed down. But how are you going to restart the conversation without getting angry again?
One of the best techniques is to work out what their perspective is. If you can put yourself in their shoes, you may not agree with them, but at last you’ll get an insight that should help you to stay calm and may help find a resolution. Which in turn will make you more productive and less stressed.
There are precious few people who will pick a fight with you for absolutely no reason at all. The reason may not be a good one, at least not in your view, but they will still have a reason. Think about it. Maybe they’re worried they’ll be in trouble, or perhaps they’re jealous, maybe they’re very protective of their job or their kids or property, or perhaps they’re terrified of missing out on promotion with all their money problems, or they’re hurt, feel ignored or want their contribution recognized. You may not know for sure, but you may be able to hazard a good guess. And that may help to find a solution and with luck to feel at least a modicum of human empathy with them, even if you think their feelings are misplaced.
(From the book; “How To Get Things Done Without Trying Too Hard” By Richard Templar)
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